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Our dear sister in Christ, Gayle Dubowski, celebrated her first full year with the Lord on Valentine's Day, one year after the senseless tragedy that took her from us. Though we don't enjoy the pleasure of her physical presence, she lives on in the hearts of many in our congregation and communities, and has left a lasting legacy through her deep faith, selfless service, warm personality, and sincere godliness.
Personal Memories
What I miss about Gayle are her hugs. When she hugged me, she would hold me tight, almost reassuring me of her love. When she would sit next to me, she would lean her head on my shoulder, which the more I think about it, this showed her vulnerability. I miss seeing her on campus, sharing our faith together, praying together, walking to class together, having lunch together between classes, and studying the Bible with other people.
Ionela Testa, NIU Grad
 I always enjoyed being around Gayle. She had such a fun personality. I remember having conversations about Lord of the Rings and being able to joke around with her. I was reading the series at the time and anytime she heard me mention it her attention was directed towards the conversation I was in.
A specific memory I have with her is before I left for Israel. I was sitting outside by myself on campus when Gayle saw me. She stopped to encourage me for taking the opportunity to go serve the church there. I remember her being frustrated with school at that moment, and she talked about how she dreamed of going to Russia to help the church there. I admired her dreams and still do.
Gayle had such a great heart. She was incredibly serving and always had a smile on her face. When she chose to come to NIU, she refreshed us all, and we all miss her dearly. Though there is a big gap without her, I know she is in a better place — an infinitely better place!
Brad Procek, Student, NIU
Gayle will never be forgotten. When I think of Gayle, I think of Christ. She was quiet, gentle, joyful, loving and a true friend. Her great example inspires me often. She always served wholeheartedly and with a smile on her face. I will never forget the times she made me dinner, walked me home from hanging out (even if it was raining or snowing), studied the Bible with me, and just had fun with me whether it was eating a small mountain of popcorn or listening to musicals. She gave so much to me and I am continually reminded to imitate her attitude and strive to be more like Jesus. Her legacy is a huge one — her personality, sweetness and humble spirit will never be forgotten. She is an inspiration to many to be a true disciple and share your faith even if it's out of your comfort zone, as it was for her. I miss her so much but I know she fulfilled her purpose in life by touching others and making it to heaven!
Bethany Lager, Student, NIU
Gayle Dubowski did so much for me and for everyone who knew her, simply by being.
I'm sure if I talked to everyone that knew Gayle, something new about her character would come out. But what struck a chord with me was just how she stood out, and even though she was shy, she unashamedly lived her life with a child-like heart.
 Gayle loved the simple. She loved the rain, sometimes stomping in puddles. She loved to make jack-o-lanterns, especially scooping the goop out of pumpkins. She even found fun in mundane, everyday chores. On one occasion, Gayle offered to help one of our friends, Stephanie, fold laundry. When they got back to Stephanie's apartment, Gayle got excited just to see so many socks that she gleefully threw them in the air. "I was kind of like, ‘Who is this girl that I brought back to my apartment?'" Stephanie said. "She would get excited about things that most people hate. She loved doing dishes and I never understood why."
Another thing I admired about Gayle was just how much she cared for the people in her life. The church we're a part of devotes time every Sunday to people who wish to make prayer requests. Anyone can write anything they wish to be prayed about on a card, and one night out of the week some members of the church would get together and pray about the requests on the cards. Those who take part in the prayers can also offer up their own prayers and requests during the session. Gayle went to these prayer request sessions, and one night she began to pray about one of her friends because she wasn't a Christian. "I just love her so much," Gayle said, pushing through tears, her words peppered with anguish. She felt so strongly about this because she had strong convictions about her faith.
Anthony Testa, a minster in our church, said this: "She desired to do what was right, and it seemed to not be for her own benefit, but just simply because it was what was right."
My fondest memory of Gayle happened to be the time she taught me a lesson. One spring afternoon, I was walking her to the Founders Memorial Library after working on a project with her and our friend Nia. We had missed the bus in Eco Park, and I began to grumble about that and about how heavy my oversized laptop was on my shoulders. After I kept complaining about our situation, Gayle offered to carry my laptop, and in exchange I would carry her bag. "Oh please, Gayle, you won't make it to the end of the block," I said, thinking about my 230-pound frame in comparison to her small and dainty stature. But she insisted, and said she would carry it for a while and return it. After walking several blocks on Annie Glidden, I offered to take it back, but she refused. I knew she was struggling, and I eventually asked for it back as I thought about how many people saw me carrying her little girly bag. But she refused, adjusted the strap and didn't offer one word of protest. She finally gave me back my laptop in front of the library.
First of all, the more I think about it, the more I think she was laughing at me on the inside. But, that's how she was with everything. I honestly don't remember her complaining about anything — she enjoyed life fully, and she showed it.
I miss Gayle, but I'm comforted by her life and her spirit.
Michael Brown, a Journalism Major at NIU, wrote this article for the Northern Star
 There was a month when I could not pay my rent. As I shared my frustration with Gayle, she told me that she wanted to pay my bill. I refused because the money that she had she saved from the summer. I left for school, and I told her that I would like her to think about it some more, and that I would do the same. I returned from school having decided to refuse her kind offer; her first words to me were, "No worries, I asked advice and half your rent is paid and you can't do anything about it. Think of it as a Christmas present." That just softened my heart, and I was able to see that Gayle would sacrifice anything for others. She was the most giving person and a very loyal friend.
My last time with Gayle was the night before the shooting. We were in the living room and I was writing some news articles for school, and I asked her to proofread for me. As she was reading my article she started smiling. When I asked her what was so funny, she said that I write like I speak and she thought that it was cute to her. Every little thing made Gayle smile. She always, always, always smiled. It was a gift to be around her. When the sun set, Gayle was there to light my world up. I wish she was here with me.
Elena Rushton, NIU Student, one of Gayle's Roommates
Anniversary Memorials
Crosses for Losses
Crosses for Losses is planning public memorial services at Northern Illinois University on the first anniversary of the 2008 campus shooting. At 2:15 p.m. Saturday, February 14, friends and family will reinstall crosses for Gayle Dubowski, Cathalina Garcia, Julianna Gehant, Ryanne Mace and Daniel Parmenter. The five crosses will be on the hill across from Cole Hall, at the same site memorial crosses were erected last year.
NIU Remembers: A Day of Reflection
Many memorial events are planned for Saturday, February 14th on the NIU Campus:
- At 10:30 a.m., the university-wide commemoration event "NIU Remembers: A Legacy of Character" will be held at the Convocation Center. Doors will open at 9 a.m.
- 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m.: "Today, We Are All Huskies" art exhibit; "NIU Remembers" video montage.
- 12:30-2:45 p.m.: "Images of Hope" photo/image display; Huskies' Acts of Kindness student postcard display; "Reflections and Expressions" time capsule creation.
- 1-2 p.m.: Multi-Faith Reflection.
- 3 p.m.: Presentation of Memorial Wreaths. President John Peters will lead participants toward Cole Hall to place wreaths at the site where a permanent memorial will be constructed this spring.
- 3:15-5:30 p.m.: Memorial Mosaic project participation; Reflections and Expressions time capsule creation; Memorial Concert.
- At 6 p.m., NIU President John Peters will lead the campus and community in a candlelight vigil in the Martin Luther King Memorial Commons, followed by a reception in the Duke Ellington Ballroom. Participants are encouraged to begin gathering at 5:30 p.m.
Additional information on memorial events can be found in this article from the Northwest Herald.
The Acts of Kindness Project
Launched by the Northern Illinois University Honors Program, Coordinator Kate Braser and her team mailed out thousands of postcards. One side is blank, and the other side encourages the recipient to perform a random act of kindness in memory of the students who were killed. The recipients were asked to document the act of kindness on the postcard and mail it back to the honors program.
Local students from the DeKalb-Sycamore area, as well as other residents, responded with overwhelming enthusiasm. Random acts of kindness ranged anywhere from giving money to a homeless person to simply offering a kind word or a smile to a complete stranger.
The inspiring cards will be on display Saturday in the Holmes Student Center on the NIU campus1.
Gayle Dubowski Memorial Fund
A memorial fund has been established to honor the memory of Gayle Dubowski. It is administered by HOPE worldwide,
a very highly rated organization that meets needs for people around the
world. The funds that go to this charity are being invested as a
lasting memorial to Gayle, and are earmarked for use in helping youth,
especially in the former USSR. Gayle was interested in traveling and
volunteering there someday in the orphanages, either in Kiev or Moscow.
Every year HOPE worldwide will take the earnings from the fund
and distribute them according to the needs of orphans and poor children
at that time. Gayle's parents will have a say in where those funds will
be used. Her parents have expressed a desire that this fund will grow,
and continue to benefit people for years to come.
More information, and online donation, can be found on HOPE worldwide's Gayle Dubowski Memorial Page.
To Donate:
You can donate online or send a check by specifying the "Gayle Dubowski Fund for Youth" on your check payable to HOPE worldwide, Ltd. Send to:
Gayle Dubowski Fund for Youth
c/o HOPE worldwide, Ltd.
353 West Lancaster Avenue, Suite 200
Wayne, PA 19087
Online Memorial Sites
There are several online memorial pages dedicated to preserving the memory of Gayle:
1This information adapted from an article by Karen Keyster writing for The Courier News.
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